There are lots and lots and lots of reasons to love Pat Burrell.
There are also lots and lots and lots of reasons to hate Pat Burrell.
I love Pat Burrell. Here for your reading pleasure is a lovely Pat Burrell story as told by one of my more impassioned Philadelphia sports fan brethren. We shall call him "Carvin Crine" in the spirit of anonymity.
Here is Carvin's account, written while choking down last night's World Series finale. Please, enjoy.
"Why the FUCK does the camera show Burrell on the top step of the SF dugout every 5 mins. I swear I am hating this guy more and more each time. He fucking blows but keeps getting his pretty face on TV all the time. Side Burrell story – some girls that I work with were talking one day when one of them tells a story about one of her ‘friends’ that fucked Pat the Bat. In the middle of the action he leans down to her and says, “can you believe you are fucking Pat Burrell???” And as she is reciting this story another girl from a different cube stands up and says, “Oh my God, that same exact thing happened to one of my ‘friends’!!!” Turns out they weren’t talking about the same girl. So, the two things that I took from this were – 1) it was obviously these girls that I work with that were banging Burrell, right? And 2) was that Pat the Bat’s MO every time he was laying pipe??? Interesting. I went home that night and tried it with my wife – “HONEY, CAN YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE FUCKING CARVIN CRINE?!?” But she didn’t find it too amusing… "
Pat Burrell.
There are also lots and lots and lots of reasons to hate Pat Burrell.
I love Pat Burrell. Here for your reading pleasure is a lovely Pat Burrell story as told by one of my more impassioned Philadelphia sports fan brethren. We shall call him "Carvin Crine" in the spirit of anonymity.
Here is Carvin's account, written while choking down last night's World Series finale. Please, enjoy.
"Why the FUCK does the camera show Burrell on the top step of the SF dugout every 5 mins. I swear I am hating this guy more and more each time. He fucking blows but keeps getting his pretty face on TV all the time. Side Burrell story – some girls that I work with were talking one day when one of them tells a story about one of her ‘friends’ that fucked Pat the Bat. In the middle of the action he leans down to her and says, “can you believe you are fucking Pat Burrell???” And as she is reciting this story another girl from a different cube stands up and says, “Oh my God, that same exact thing happened to one of my ‘friends’!!!” Turns out they weren’t talking about the same girl. So, the two things that I took from this were – 1) it was obviously these girls that I work with that were banging Burrell, right? And 2) was that Pat the Bat’s MO every time he was laying pipe??? Interesting. I went home that night and tried it with my wife – “HONEY, CAN YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE FUCKING CARVIN CRINE?!?” But she didn’t find it too amusing… "
Pat Burrell.
Man? Or machine?
Does it even matter? Can't a legend be both?
Does it even matter? Can't a legend be both?