REPRISE

Note to Constant Reader: In the past, as a communicator, I have been accused of flowery and superfluous writing. I know, I know, ridiculous. However, as an ever-inquisitive and eternally open-minded man of self-examination, I am not above looking at my work through the lesser lens of the marginally literate. For instance, I, myself, have noticed an abundance of hyphenated words in my posts. Perhaps what the critics say is true, perhaps my proclivity towards a meticulously crafted turn of phrase is more a bore than a boulder; more of a yawn than a yarn. Well, I shall fearlessly put this insight to the test. I offer you yesterday's post, rewritten (or unwritten, frankly) so as to convey its most basic content and message, stripped of the glossy nuance and practiced veneer borne of a LaSallian education. I now stoop to your level, John Q. Public, by choice.

It's Evolution, Baby

College, Christ, what a shitshow. Good times, though, some crazy shit. I remember Lincoln Court, the five of us, the crap we gave each other, the pranks, some of it was pretty fucking funny, actually. I'll write about it.

We were all broke, and we had no taste. There was a Greek pizza joint down the road, Overbrook Pizza. The pizza was crap but they made decent sandwiches. My favorite was the Chicken Parm grinder. Chicken, cheese, sauce, bread, what else do you need? Good to go. Anyway, I averaged three or four a week. Naturally, my body turned it into poop.

Everybody poops, hell, there's a book about it. I always really enjoyed it though. Maybe it's a Freudian thing. I dunno, ask my brother. He's a doctor. Anyway, I would spend a good hour on the shitter. We had two bathrooms so it wasn't an issue. Since I'd be in there for so long, just basically avoiding everybody, I'd bring provisions. Didn't seem too weird to me but the guys got a kick out of it. Poop Kit, they called it.

POOP KIT (college)

Discman

Smokes

Lighter
Ashtray

Food

Drink

Playstation Weekly

TP

Dip

Dip cup

I quit smoking after college. Quit dip, too. I still love to shit, but I don't need to hide out in the bathroom for an hour or two since now I have a whole house to do it in. I enjoy the poops but don't bring a backpack with me anymore.

POOP KIT (today)

Beer
Laptop

Same thing, really. The laptop is, like, six things on the first list. Alright, two.