"Senior Weekend Down-The-Shore" Treasure Hunting Checklist:
Drink heavy beers with no understanding of personal limits [x]
Watch Kazaam [x]
Drunkenly stumble from block to block searching for friends [x]
Use stealth and confidence to pass by police cookout undetected [x]
Get lost [x]
Eventually find rendezvous point abandoned [x]
Get approached by Mexican [x]
Carefully explain (in Spanish) that you do not speak Spanish or know where "The Mall" is [x]
Bathe in Mexican's disappointment [x]
Eat tons of hot Chinese food in solitude [x]
Wander home, drink more, play cards [x]
Get felt up repeatedly by female friend [x]
Respond angrily; demand sex, threaten reprisals [x]
Make out on picnic table [x]
See some tits on picnic table [x]
Receive blow-j on picnic table [x]
Get interrupted by male friends [x]
Three times in a row [x]
Don't ever ejaculate [x]
Leave female on picnic table [x]
Watch sunrise with cock-blocking males [x]
Return home [x]
Find female asleep on picnic table [x]
Score? [n/a]